Common Symptoms of Separation Anxiety in Children

Separation anxiety is a common experience for children, especially during transitions like starting school or moving to a new environment. While it’s normal for children to feel upset when separating from their parents or caregivers, separation anxiety can sometimes escalate into more persistent and challenging symptoms. Understanding the common signs of separation anxiety can help parents and caregivers address the issue early and provide the right support. Here are some of the most common symptoms of separation anxiety in children:

1. Excessive Worry About Separation

Children with separation anxiety often express fear or worry about being away from their parents or caregivers. This can manifest as verbal concerns about something bad happening to their loved ones while they’re apart or the fear of being left alone in unfamiliar situations.

2. Clinginess or Difficulty Leaving Parents

A child with separation anxiety may exhibit clingy behaviour, such as refusing to leave their parents’ side, holding on tightly, or crying when it’s time to separate. They may feel distressed at drop-off times, whether it's for school, day-care, or any other separation.

3. Physical Complaints

Children with separation anxiety may complain of stomach-aches, headaches, or other physical symptoms before or during separation. These complaints often occur because the child is feeling anxious and may be a way for them to avoid going to a place where separation is expected.

4. Sleep Problems

A child with separation anxiety may experience difficulty sleeping alone or resist going to bed. They may need to sleep in their parent’s room or experience frequent night waking's due to fears of being apart from their caregiver.

5. Crying or Tantrums

Intense emotional reactions, such as crying or tantrums, are common signs of separation anxiety. These emotional outbursts can occur when the child is about to separate from their caregiver or even when the separation is anticipated (like the night before a school day).

6. Avoidance of New Situations

Children with separation anxiety may be reluctant to go to new places, meet new people, or engage in unfamiliar activities. They often feel safer staying in environments where they know their caregivers will be present.

7. Excessive Need for Reassurance

Children may repeatedly seek reassurance from their caregivers that they will return or that they will be safe while separated. They may ask the same questions over and over to alleviate their anxiety.

8. Fear of Being Alone

Children with separation anxiety may express a strong fear of being alone, whether it’s in their room, the bathroom, or any place where they can’t see or hear their caregivers. This fear can sometimes extend to places outside the home, like school or social gatherings.

9. Difficulty Transitioning

Children with separation anxiety may have trouble transitioning between activities or environments. They may resist or become upset when it’s time to move from one setting to another, like from home to school or day-care.

10. Regression in Behaviour

In some cases, a child with separation anxiety may revert to behaviours typical of younger ages, such as thumb-sucking, bed-wetting, or having difficulty with potty training. This regression is a way for the child to cope with the overwhelming feelings of anxiety.

What to Do If Your Child Shows Signs of Separation Anxiety

Acknowledge their feelings: Let your child know that it’s okay to feel anxious and that their feelings are understood. Avoid minimizing their emotions or telling them not to be afraid.

Establish a consistent routine: Routines help children feel more secure. Keep a regular schedule for activities, including bedtime and school mornings.

Gradual separation: Start with short separations and gradually increase the time spent apart. This helps your child adjust to being away from you in a safe and manageable way.

Provide comfort items: Offer a security object, like a favourite toy or blanket, to help soothe your child during separations.

Stay calm: Children often look to their parents for cues on how to react. Staying calm and composed during separations can help reassure your child.

Seek professional support: If your child’s separation anxiety is severe or persists over time, it might be helpful to consult with a paediatrician or child psychologist. Therapy can provide strategies to help your child manage their anxiety and develop coping skills.

Separation anxiety is a common part of childhood development, but when symptoms are persistent or intense, it can interfere with a child’s daily life. By understanding the symptoms and offering comfort, consistency, and patience, parents can help their children navigate this challenging phase and gradually build confidence in being apart. With the right support, children can learn to manage their anxiety and gain greater independence over time.